By Kerri Kibbey
We all know being a mom has its challenges. Not everyone’s journey into motherhood starts out easy, or even continues smoothly. There are always bumps in the road. I’ve had some conversations lately with some incredible moms and we discussed the various challenges of motherhood and where we go to cry. Because in all honesty every one of us cries sometimes. One mom told a story of how she was driving down the road and saw a women crying in her car. We have no way of knowing why she was crying, maybe that’s where she goes to cry. Each of our lives takes us down different paths. We all hit low moments. Some days are easier than others. As moms we should make the effort to be a united support system for each other. I’ve shed quite a few tears along my journey and still do, though far less, these days. Hormones, children’s ages, lack of support and life can all throw us a curve whether we are bed rest mom, NICU mom or toddler mom. Motherhood isn’t always hugs and laughter: Where do you go to cry?
Best rest mom. Your doctor informed you your pregnancy wouldn’t be like your friends. You are now confined to the hospital or home for the duration. It sucks, you want to cry. Where do you go? Well the restrictions don’t give you a ton of options. Honestly you don’t know when or where the crying will come. It may be when you are alone, with a spouse, a friend or maybe it will be with your nurse? It can even be with stranger that just walked in to bring you an HRH bed rest basket or the friend that send you a special package to boost your spirits. Either way you are going to shed a tear or two, more than once. I cried at the most random things, happy and sad. I cried because my mom had a stroke when I was 6 weeks pregnant, I cried because I went on bed rest, I cried because I lost my independence, I cried because I couldn’t decorate my son’s nursery, and sometimes I just cried (hormones are fun.)
NICU mom. Your babies came early, earlier than expected. Where do you go to cry? I cried in the delivery room when the nurses rushed away with my newborn and then I cried when I was finally able to see each of them for the first time. With my first born I cried because my mom couldn’t be there (she had a massive stroke when I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first). I cried with my second when I couldn’t be home with my first. My crying varied so much, I was a hormonal mess! Back to back pregnancies, both ending in bed rest and too many shots of progesterone had me in tears constantly. And having a preemie throws even more tears in the mix.
Toddler mom. Toddler years are the worst. Terrible twos, please try hateful three. Honest, each age comes with its own challenges. When my second was born it was by far the hardest year of my life. Her first year almost broke me. My son was 18 months old when she was born and my husband travels. I don’t have family in the area so for the most part I’m “flying solo”. Where do you go to cry? We all have a place that gives us the most comfort when we’ve had enough. The one women who found her release in her car, another mom confided hers was in her bathroom. My sanctuary is my pantry. I have my moments, I’m not super mom. My kids are mad at me that dad’s always gone and I get frustrated because it can get very lonely and tiring.
It’s not always easy being a mom. But it’s the role we chose and the role I love. Let’s just be honest moms, don’t sugar coat the daily challenges, live real. Not one wants to hear anyone complain constantly, but be a friend when a fellow mom is complaining about the laundry list of things that have sucked that day. Don’t judge. We are all in the same boat, maybe not today but possibly in the future. Whether you are pregnant, a mom of one, or a mom of multiples remember we are only human, no one is super mom. Motherhood isn’t always hugs and laughter. Remember to be supportive of each other. And it’s ok to cry. So where do you go to cry?