The Parent Perspective | June

Every month, High Risk Hope would like to highlight ongoing topics, frustrations, or curiosities in your very unique journey with high-risk pregnancy and/or premature birth. Mothers, fathers, family, and friends will touch on their personal tools, tips, and techniques to many of the ongoing concerns you face after having a high-risk pregnancy or a premature infant. Above all, remember that there are no right or wrong answers, only other parents and families figuring it out along the way, just like you. Here is what they have to say this month. Do you have a question you’d like addressed on The Parent Perspective? Email us today!

 

Bailey and Richard Nicholas | Henry and Nora, born at 34 weeks

“On this Father’s Day, I want to say a big THANK YOU to my husband and super-twin dad, Richard. When I was 28 weeks pregnant with our twins, I went into preterm labor and was sent to labor and delivery while my husband was on a work trip to Ohio. He immediately rushed to the airport and managed to get to the hospital in Tampa around 1 am. Luckily the twins were not born that night, and though he had pressing business in Ohio, he did not return until after the twins were born at 34 weeks and safely at home after a 2 week NICU stay. I had severe preeclampsia and was required to remain on magnesium for 24 hours after delivery, meaning I could not leave my hospital room to see the twins in the NICU. But I did not worry about them in the least because Richard was in the NICU with them, giving them their first holds, alerting nurses when my son’s breathing became labored, and meticulously communicating every detail to me via cell phone. And as a twin dad, he got to share all the responsibilities, giving just as many bottles, changing just as many diapers, and giving just as many snuggles as I did to our babies. Now we are awaiting the birth of our third child at the end of August, and it’s already so fun to watch him become a dad to our newest addition. He is our favorite person!!”

Marshella and Jeff Pounds | Emerson, born at 26 weeks

“Jeff was there every step of the way (in every doctor’s visit) being the calming force in our relationship. When we found out Emerson was growth restricted, I was so scared, but he maintained that Emerson would be fine. Emerson was born at 26 weeks after me being on bed rest in the hospital for about 1 week. My husband was very intentional about making sure I had things that brought me comfort during my hospital stay (including purchasing one of my favorite sitcoms on iTunes for me to watch each evening). He even washed my hair for me while I was on bed rest. After Emerson was born and had a 191-day stay in the hospital, Jeff started to step in more with making dinner and cleaning our home so that I could completely focus on and be successful at my breast pumping journey. I am so grateful for Jeff being the husband that he is. It has allowed me to be the mom I need to be, while also still being able to own who I am outside of being a mother. I love his relationship with Emerson and how he pushes both Emerson and me to be our best. He is the most supportive, loving husband and father ever. I have only highlighted a few of the amazing things he has done because I could literally write a book about how thoughtful and supportive he is. Emerson and I are so blessed to have him.”

Baleigh and Jayson Margol | Avelyn and Slade, born at 28 weeks

“I was admitted for hospital bed rest when I was 22 weeks along with twins. My husband, Jayson, never skipped a beat. For the next six weeks, he slept on that plastic pull-out couch in my room, got up with me in the morning, and went off to work, just to come back and do it all over again that night. He’d only go home one night a week to do our laundry and make sure the house was still standing, even though I insisted he go home to sleep in a real bed. When the babies were born at 28 weeks, we knew we had a long NICU journey ahead and he was ready to face it. Until I could drive, he’d come home from work just to turn around and drive us all the way back to St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital to see them every day. Once I could, we’d meet there every evening until both babies were home 12 weeks later. His long days grew much longer in those hospital months, and he never complained. He never asked for a break; he was never not there if we needed him; he never faulted. In those months, he easily could have checked out (I wanted to) but he truly was my rock and kept me going when I wanted to crumble. I absolutely could not have gotten through it without him, and I’ll never be able to thank him enough for what he did for us. Happy Father’s Day, Jayson. Avelyn, Slade, and I love you with all our hearts!”

Sandra and Justin Carlin | Isaac, born at 25 weeks

“I was placed on bed rest early with an emergency cerclage at 21 weeks, so our game plan was to keep me pregnant until I reached my third trimester. Unfortunately, that never happened. I was on hospital bed rest when I woke up to contractions at exactly 25 weeks. I’ll never forget when the L&D nurse told me she could see Isaac’s head – I cried, looked at my husband, and told him I was sorry. I’ll never forget his response, ‘What are you sorry for? You’re about to be a mom!’ He really tried his best to normalize this experience for me. While I was focused on Isaac surviving the NICU, Justin took care of our dogs and handled finances related to his stay like applying for SSI. Once we left the NICU, Justin took care of coordinating Isaac’s in-home nursing care, all therapeutic services, and appointments, and also helped me in my pumping journey by cleaning all the parts for me. He also helped with some of the night feedings, even though I didn’t have to work, just so I could get more sleep. During his work lunch breaks, he would come home to give me a break too. Thank you Justin for being an amazingly loving father and husband!! Isaac and I are blessed to have you. ”

Angie and TJ Bresnahan | Adalyn, born at 28 weeks

“Happy Father’s Day to our superhero father and husband, TJ. Our journey to parenthood was not easy and he has remained by my side every step of the way. I had endometriosis, adenomyosis, and had three surgeries removing my appendix and part of my small intestine – along with fibroids and cysts before we began IVF. We were blessed to become pregnant with twins, who were due 5/11/2016. My 25-week appointment on 1/25/2016 was just like another. He left work to meet me at the doctor’s office but instead of us returning to work that day we were sent to labor and delivery due to my cervix being almost completely dilated. We were shocked and scared but he always remained calm. After being given many medications to help the babies, I was sent up to the high-risk floor where I was to remain on hospital bed rest until May. TJ would go to work during the day and without me asking, come and stay overnight with me at the hospital. On 2/20/2016 at 28 weeks pregnant, I gave birth to our beautiful twins. Beren weighing 2lbs 9oz and Adalyn weighing 2lbs 11oz. Adalyn was having some complications but Beren was doing great. So we were shocked and beyond heartbroken when our son passed away five days later. Losing a child is something a parent should never have to go through. TJ has been my superhero and remained by my side during this continuous journey. There are no words to thank him enough for that. Adalyn remained in the NICU for 95 days. During that time, TJ would work all day then come to the hospital to be with his girls. He jumped right in with the dad duties and was a natural superhero. Adalyn’s reflux issues kept her in the hospital as she would spit up and stop breathing. So when we were released from the hospital on 5/28/2016 (17 days past my due date), we knew feedings would be scary. As I said, TJ was a natural and took over morning feedings, allowing me to sleep in, earning the nickname ‘morning guy’. Mornings continue to be special ‘Daddy and Addy time’. She is a daddy’s girl and he is our superhero. Thank you for all you do us!”