by Lee Cordon, Dallas Blogger, DoSayGive
In our modern medical era, I naively thought that there was a treatment or cure for most high risk pregnancy conditions. When my water broke at 14 weeks gestation, a condition known as Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes or PPROM, I found out the hard way that this wasn’t the case. I’ll never forget looking at the bouncing figure on the hazy ultrasound screen (hazy because these machines see through water and I didn’t have any) and not believing my ears when the specialist advised us to terminate the pregnancy.
You see, medical professionals, particularly those trained in the high risk field, are taught that there is little hope – and definitely no “fix”- when a woman’s amniotic sac breaks before viability (23 weeks). Their main priority is the woman’s health and once an amniotic sac ruptures the woman is at risk for infection, bleeding, and death.
My eyes glazed over as I listened to the grim statistics my MFM doctor shared: the chances of a baby surviving to viability without me contracting an infection were very slim. The chances of my baby developing enough lung tissue to breathe on her own were even slimmer. And the fact that I also had a partial placental abruption and bleeding made everything even worse. “Even if for some reason you made it to viability,” she said, “this baby would be severely disabled, both mentally and physically.”
When my husband and I begged for any trial or alternative treatments around the country we could try, we were told that none of them had proven effective. Most just introduced infection, which is what we were trying to avoid. There was nothing we could do except go home, get in the bed, and “pray for a miracle.”
So that’s what we did.
For the first few days, though, I sobbed under my covers, lost in my own hopelessness. But every time I cried more fluid leaked out (pregnant women are always producing fluid, but when your amniotic sac is ruptured, it would just leak out). It made me want to be still and never move or laugh. The stress of it all was almost too much.
Then my sister forwarded me a website she found about PPROM. I searched desperately for stories of hope on the page. Most of the PPROM stories had sad endings. But then I stumbled upon a story of a baby boy whose mother PPROM’d about the same time. And he survived! I read the story over and over again, looking for any similarities and gleaning any tips as to what this mother did to help avoid infection and keep her baby inside.
After a week I started having a bit more hope. My mom pretty much moved in with us to help with our two-year-old. I started a website to keep friends and family up to date. My sweet OB was encouraging and hopeful at my next appointment. The fact that I hadn’t miscarried that first week was a huge turning point.
During my time on bed rest at home, I filled the days with reading and writing and praying. I couldn’t watch tv because it seemed so trivial in such a serious time. I only got up to use the bathroom and took a shower every few days. And, based on the advice from the mothers in the PPROM group board, I drank a ton of water. Not only to help avoid infection but to aid in the development of amniotic fluid. There is no scientific proof for this, but I was desperate to try anything.
Nine weeks passed. At 23 weeks gestation, I was admitted to the hospital since the baby was considered “viable.” I thought things would be so much easier in the hospital where they could monitor the baby often and get her out quickly if possible. But I found the opposite to be true. The six weeks I spent on the antepartum floor were extremely difficult. I’ve never felt more alone in my life. Not only was I away from my family, but sleep was impossible with the constant interruptions (and the bed was just awful!). And I was routinely reminded of the probable ending of all this bed rest: our baby probably wouldn’t be able to breathe when she was born and would pass away within a few minutes.
At 29 weeks gestation things took a turn for the worse. I was raced in for an emergency C-section. It was like out of a movie. They were able to get her out so quickly. The whole time I was praying she would cry when she was born. Crying might mean she had enough lung tissue to breathe. When they pulled her out we heard a little whimper. And instead of putting her on my chest to take her first and final breaths, they raced her up to the NICU. I only saw a glimpse of her as they raced by, but I was not upset. I was praising God that they were doing just that. It meant she had enough lung tissue to be intubated.
Our 29 weeker spent three months in the NICU. The first few days were touch and go and there were several times we almost had to say our goodbyes. But she prevailed. We prevailed. Don’t get me wrong, the journey has not been easy. The first four years of her life were filled with surgeries, buttons, and therapy almost every day, but it has all been worth it. The 15 weeks on bed rest were worth it.
Our preemie is nearly nine years old now. She goes to a rigorous academic school, plays soccer and basketball, and not surprisingly, is the most determined child I know.
She also gave us hope when I PPROM’d at 23 weeks with my fourth child. You can read her story here.
You can learn more about Lee on her blog, DoSayGive, and more about PPROM support at Little Heartbeats.
Your story brought tears to my eyes. I PPROMed at 23 weeks and spent 3 difficult weeks on bed rest at the hospital and I agree with you. So lonely and difficult. It’s all been worth it, our daughter is one now and we haven’t needed to go back to the hospital since we left. Preemies are so strong and inspiring – they make us stronger than we thought we could be. Congrats on your beautiful family
I am so opposite this story….. I pPrommed at 15 weeks. Same grim scenerio. They never told me to terminate but the doom and gloom speeches came the same as hers. If I made it till viability that would be something, if I made it till 27 weeks that would be great. I didn’t really put myself on bedrest. I still did stuff but took it easy. I grocery shopped but had the family bring it in, stuff like that. I didn’t have the luxury to have outside family help. At 24 weeks I cried that I couldn’t go into the hospital. I didn’t have the support at home and with the holidays coming I couldn’t .. Surprisingly I made it to 38 weeks. Almost unheard of with this and definitely not following doctors orders of hospital bedrest. But I knew I would be less stressed at home and felt it would be better for both of us. Outside of IUGR and Clubbed feet he was fine. He tends to be a late bloomer but is geting there.
Did he stay in the hospital after birth ??
Could you feel your baby move? I Prom at 20 weeks I stop feeling my baby at 21 week fluid is too low. What other issues did you have?
Hi , I am wondering the same. My waters broke at 18 weeks I am currently 21 and always being asked of babies movements but still have not felt anything. Baby being my first I’m so unsure what to feel is baby movement xxx
Hi,how is the situation now with you?I ppromed yesterday,so now I am admmitted to hospital and trying to get some hope and out of despair.I also did not clearly feel the movements in the weeks you are now.
Thank you for this hope. I PPROM’d last week at almost 17 weeks. We’re taking it a day at a time, and holding out hope.
How did your experience go? I pprom’d 6 days ago at 17 weeks and 6 days. I’m so scared.
My waters broke at 16w 4 and I was kept in hospital. I was given all the doom and gloom and then finally told there might be some hope as I had nearly reached the 48hour mark. I prayed so much, drank so much water but it wasn’t meant to be. I went into labor and lost my boy at 16w6.
My wife pprom’d at 16 weeks , she did not go into labor right away and the MFM doctor told us to make something good come out of the situation and donate our sons organs. We chose to have hope. My wife was sent home until 20 weeks then we went back to hospital. To continue bed rest and she carried him till 30 weeks . There is much more I could fill in here but he is now a very healthy 4 year old energetic boy. No oxygen tanks and can outrun me any day of the week!
I PROM’d this morning at 20weeks I am praying hard to havey baby boy, you story has inspired me.
I prom at 15 weeks i am so scared. I go to the bathroom and have light bleeding and some very small clots and fear for the worst.but I keep hope when I read these stories. I hope for a miracle too.
I’m with you mama! Same thing happened to me yesterday – 15 weeks. Terrified.
Thank you for sharing this. Water broke at 17 weeks and have been on bed rest for 2 weeks now. We are praying for our miracle. Helps to know I’m not doing all of this in vain when I read stories like this.
Great let’s keep in prayer as we wait upon our miracle babies
I pprom’d at 20 weeks and leaking has really subsided since bed rest and baby has lots of amniotic fluid and moving so I know God’s hand is in all this. The gloom and doom I no longer listen to as I’m at home and praying has given me so much hope and silenced the fear. So grateful to have stumbled on your page.
This has just happened to me at 14 weeks. I have been told to consider a “termination” but it feels so wrong to me knowing its still fighting to live inside me. I’m so torn what to do and I keep crying as I have been told by professions that “the prognosis is not good” I am lost and I am scared.