Anxiety after Traumatic Birth / NICU Admission: What’s Normal, What’s Not & How to Get Help

written by: Ashley Jessen, LCPC

Having a baby is often one of the most joyous moments in life, especially when pregnancy, labor, and delivery go smoothly. However, we know that complications can sometimes arise during the perinatal period. In particular, having a child in the NICU and/or experiencing a traumatic birth can understandably be one of the most challenging examples of complications that can occur. This post focuses on the mental, physical and emotional effects of both traumatic birth and NICU experiences and what you can do to help support yourself or your loved one.

What’s Normal?

There are various thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that can emerge for parents during a NICU experience or after a traumatic birth that the mental health community would consider “normal” responses. Some examples include difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, stress/worry, exhaustion, and difficulty concentrating. These reactions, when experienced at mild to moderate levels, do not significantly interfere with the parent’s overall functioning and are often attributed to a level of anxiety that is typical for any parent who endures the NICU or traumatic birth.

When to Get Help:

However, when we encounter trauma in the birth experience and/or as a result of a child in the NICU, we need to be aware of reactions that begin to feel less normal. It can be difficult to distinguish between an expected amount of anxiety and “too much” anxiety as it differs from person to person. What’s most important to keep in mind is to notice if you (or your partner/loved one) no longer seems like him/herself and/or if the effects of the anxiety are starting to impede his/her functioning and overall sense of self. Here are some red flags that may indicate a parent’s anxiety has developed into diagnosable anxiety, PTSD, depression, or an adjustment disorder that can be treated professionally:

*Extreme worry
*Extreme overwhelm
*Inability to fall asleep or stay asleep, nightmares
*Nausea/GI Issues
*Intrusive, racing or scary thoughts
*Chest pain
*Disengagement from activities, work, relationships
*Foggy thinking
*Difficulty concentrating
*Headaches
*Changes in appetite
*Helplessness/Hopelessness
*Irritability, aggression
*Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
*Crying, extreme sadness

What to Do:

If you or your loved one experiences any number of these symptoms OR if you’re simply not feeling like yourself, it may be time to get some additional support. Start by telling someone you trust: your partner, your OB, a friend or a relative. One of the bright spots during COVID has been the emergence of tele-health services, and you can speak to a therapist or counselor from your home or the hospital/NICU. Often your OB/midwife will have referrals, but if not, Psychology Today is a great place to filter a therapist search by insurance, specialty, etc. A therapist can help you get a better understanding of what you are experiencing and suggest ways to help you feel better. There are also a number of online support groups available through Postpartum Support International (PSI). Connecting with parents in similar situations can be extremely beneficial. Current PSI support groups include:

Apoyo Perinatal (Spanish-language)
Black Mamas Matter
Military Moms
NICU Parents
Perinatal (Pregnancy & Postpartum) Mood Support for Moms
Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group for Moms

There are also great websites that offer a variety of resources:

Postpartum Support International:

https://www.postpartum.net/

Postpartum Stress Center:

https://postpartumstress.com/

Instagram: womensmentalhealthdoc

(Perinatal Psychiatrist with a variety of topics covered and live conversations, particularly about the use of medication for mental health.)

Ways to Help Yourself or Your Loved One:

If you or loved one is not interested in professional help, there are some things you can do at home to help mitigate symptoms:

*Prioritize your physical health:
*Sleep regular hours (as much as possible with a newborn or baby in the NICU!)
*Eat regular, healthy meals and snacks
*Shower/take baths
*Get fresh air every day when possible
*Incorporate movement/exercise when you are physically healthy to do so
(gentle yoga and walking are great options)
*Check in with your Primary Care Provider or OB: Consider checking your
Vitamin D Thyroid, B12, Hormone levels to get a baseline of your physical health
*Connect with family and friends
*Establish support for older sibling care with babysitters or family
*Consider working with a postpartum doula or lactation consultant
*Ask the hospital/NICU if there is a parent network to join to connect with other parents
*Talk about how you’re feeling with a loved one or journal privately
*Lean on spiritual or religious beliefs; connect with that community
*Establish a meditation practice
*Join an online support group

In closing, it’s important to remember that taking care of yourself and/or reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness; it is a sign of strength and willingness to prioritize your health so that you can be the best parent for your child(ren). It’s never too soon or too late to take care of yourself. Thank you for reading and please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or visit my website for additional resources related to perinatal mental health! Be well!